


for me to be saved and you to be brave (more adventurous remix)

by pearl_o



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Beach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-31
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 12:13:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/824182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearl_o/pseuds/pearl_o
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>I've been trying to nod my head, but it's like I've got a broken neck / Wanting to say I will as my last testament</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	for me to be saved and you to be brave (more adventurous remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pocky_slash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocky_slash/gifts).
  * Inspired by [maybe ours is the cause of all mankind](https://archiveofourown.org/works/735083) by [pocky_slash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocky_slash/pseuds/pocky_slash). 



They are in bed, Charles on his back, Erik holding himself up above him, staring down.

"Do you remember," Erik says, soothing one of his hands up and down Charles's arms, "that first night in Virginia? When you caught me leaving."

Charles nods. His eyelashes flutter delicately against his cheek - Erik wants to trace the touch with his fingertip, or his lips. "I remember. I told you I knew everything about you."

"You told me something else, too," Erik says. "You said you could stop me leaving. You wouldn't, but you could."

Charles does not respond. His mouth is tilted into something like a frown. Erik leans forward, bending to press a kiss to the pulse point in his neck. "That day on the beach - if I had taken the helmet off, would you have stopped me? Would you have kept me from leaving?"

A long pause. Erik lets it go on. Finally, Charles says, "No."

His eyes are still closed.

Erik says, so low it's almost a whisper, "That first night, were you so sure I would come back?"

"I've learned never to be sure of anything with you," Charles says; there's no anger in his voice, but it stings, nonetheless. Perhaps Erik wants it to. Charles opens his eyes, brings his hand to the back of Erik's neck. "Let's not waste any more time with talking, love," Charles says, as he pulls Erik down for a kiss.

* * *

_I love you_ , Erik tells him, over and over again. It was almost impossible to say to Charles the first time, but once it had broken out from that place deep inside, crawled its way to the surface and through the layers of ice and fire and dead wood to the light of day, it got easier every time. 

_I love you_ , Erik says, but he can't help but feel there's a loss in translation somewhere between his lips and Charles's ears, that he's never quite managing to say what he needs to say. But they're the only words he has, and so he tries again.

* * *

Charles lies on his stomach, smoking his cigarette. The skin of his back is pale and flawless and beautiful, all except for that one awful scar, the one Erik put there. When Erik spreads his hand it covers a huge portion of his flesh, but it's still not enough to cover up what he marred.

He knows Charles loves him, perhaps more than anybody has ever loved Erik, in his entire life. He thinks Charles must hate him, too, at least a little. It's fair; Erik hates him a little, too. He can remember how much easier it was before. He doesn't pretend he's ever been a whole person, not since Shaw first got a hold of him, but being empty was preferable to th bis, to feeling like a part of yourself is always missing, like you're bleeding out slowly every day.

He tries to remember, when he's safely away from Charles again, back to the work he should be doing, the helmet once more encased on his head. He tries to remember how Charles turned away from him, how he finally was too broken, too damaged for Charles to follow, just like he always knew he would end up being. How he begged Charles to stay with him, and how Charles refused.

And yet, in the end, Erik can't help it. He always turns to Charles again, calling out to him once more. He'll keep on doing it forever, he suspects, as long as Charles still deigns to come.

* * *

Charles kisses him first, and it's a relief beyond measure, a surprise every time, and Erik lets it all out in the sounds he makes, the way he touches Charles, because he doesn't know any other way, if indeed he ever did.


End file.
